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Then I got hit by another blow a month later, April posted a picture of herself on Facebook with a new boyfriend, happy and smiling, and I realised that she’d been cheating on me for a while. Begging for a stay of execution from our relationship was a way of giving herself time to develop an exit strategy, and fall straight into the arms of another man. Afterwards, I sank into a dark depression, becoming a loner, staying at home, eating, smoking, and drinking myself into oblivion most nights. I was an emotional wreck, piling on weight, and since I had alienated my friends, I couldn’t see what was happening to me. — The pattern continued for half a year. My weight was starting to get out of control – when I started to socialise again, many of my friends were shocked by the huge gut I was carrying and how haggard I looked. Dating was out of the question – my self esteem was at an all time low, and I felt unattractive and overweight. The lack of sex over the past few years had badly. I undid the belt and started to pull, but it had a big buckle and her wriggles made it impossible to get it off. So I undid the button and fly, and slid them below her knee. She wriggled more but her legs were so wrapped up in the jeans that all her movements tangled her up even more.I got up and dragged her by the feet towards the phone. I picked it up, but as my finger hovered over the buttons I looked down at her. She was completely helpless. Her hands tied behind her back meant her breasts had been thrust forward. She was wearing old knickers, the type girls wear when they are not expecting to show them to a boyfriend. I could see a dark shade where her bush would be. A couple of stray hairs peaked out of the side.“Please don’t ring anyone. Nothing’s taken. I’ll never do it again.”If the police came now they might start asking why I had pulled the jeans down. She might even start claiming I dragged her in the house. It’s strange what Weinstein and the like get away with, yet fear.
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